they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize