you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
