apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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