bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
