Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
