in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
