Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
