The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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