Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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