If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
