Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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