I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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