i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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