I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I am naked and annoyed.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
