Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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