Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
