You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
