I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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