I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
