Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
