I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
