Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
