When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
