Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Pants are for mortals
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