Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize