I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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