Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
