Whatcha textin bout Willis?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
