he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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