Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm passing your future prison.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
