it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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