Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
