I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
