Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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