You can't motorboat a personality
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
