So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
