# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
