nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
