the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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