So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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