I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
