he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
