So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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