Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
