I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize