(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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