you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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