If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
