Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
