my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
