Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
