I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
