I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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