I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
