reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize