We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my god I love twenty year old dicks
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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